Thursday, October 28, 2010

And now, a poem - Happy Halloween!

The Zombie Treat: A Bedtime Story

Southern witches make small stitches
Above his ghastly grin.
Tweedle green and liver lean,
The threads across his chin.

It will make a good mustache,”
Said one witch with certainty.
The second curled the ends with a laugh
And licked her lips with glee.

He'll smile upon the little children.”
How many will we need, sister?

No more than forty-three!”
To seal the deal, the zombie kissed her
His mind on the meals awaiting he.

The mustache man then wandered the land
As the witches told him to.
According to their clever plan,
He'd eat the bad kids, nasty or bland
Then give the witches their fat little hands
To make thicker their potions and brew.

He'll suck on their elbows,
And break both their thumbs!
He'll feed on the naughty, dim-witted, and dumb-
The selfish little kids who like to throw fits
Will find their blood in his beard
And in his stomach, their bits!
(With the exception of their hands,
But we've already covered this.)

And if he is quiet about his work
Disposing of the mess in the proper bins,
There'll be a nice tip and a candy bar
By the back door waiting for him.

You wonder how far he's come?
How many he's eaten to date?
Forty are gone, but there's room for three more
Bad little children who stay up too late.

So sleep well my precious loves,
And be quiet, gentle, and sweet.
Or by the back door I'll leave a nice tip
And a chocolate zombie treat.

Today is brought to you by the letter 'G'

Gorgon Get-togethers are a Gasp!

This is a drawing of a reunion of the gorgon sisters. Stheno and Euryale are immortal, but Medusa was killed by Perseus. What if Medusa was really immortal and her sisters later found her head after Perseus tossed it into the sea? This is how happy they would be.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Today is brought to you by the letter 'E'

Elephants infamously enjoy Edwardian era entertainment

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Trucker Sally O'Mally

Saturday, October 16, 2010

And now, a song

My Car (A country song to sing in the parking lot at the Walmarts. Hit single for the up and coming band, Herp Herp and the Derps.)

My car, my car
Oh where'd I park my car
Hope it's not too far.
Oh where'd I park my car?

Could be to the left
Could be to the right
Maybe on the moon
Loooong out of sight.

Behind that truck
Or under that van
If I have any luck
I might get a tan-

Lookin' fer
My car ooo ooo
My car
Where is that darn car?
Where'd I park my car?

Did it vanish in the air,
Like Heromine's underwear?
Coulda climbed a tree
Or sunk deep into the sea.

Coulda gone to the gym
It was lookin' kinda thin.
Sure it might turn white
Cause it had a little fright.

Maybe it ran away
Like a needle in the hay.
If I had less pride
I'd ask a girl for a ride-

Ooo ooo to my car
Ooo ooo to my car
I bet it's really far
Oh so very far...

Well golly gee!
Look out, there she be.
There is my car
In plain sight to see.
Aww I feel so silly
To walk so very far,
When all along
Here was my car.

Ooo ooo found my car
Ooo here is my car!
Here it is
Right in front of me.
No more walking
No more mystery!

But hold a minute,
Now just where are my keys?

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Tea-riffic Greeting Card

I decided to turn one of the drawings into a thank you card for my friend, Abbie.

Sketch Book

Here are a couple of sketches from my trip to Indiana. I did most of them on the plane, and I played a game turning the top seated portion of a passenger into something else. Like an archeologist or an exotic tea merchant.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

And now, a poem

Anthropomorphic allegories, artificial allusions, and other alliterative atrocities in alphabetical order

A: An arrogant acrobat administers an antidote inaccurately,
B: But a black-listed banshee babysits for a bargain.
C: A cultivated cannibal customarily uses cutlery,
D: While Desmond the dragon drinks Darjeeling with gin.

E : Elephants infamously enjoy Edwardian era entertainment
F: Forcing finicky fairies to follow feathery fashion.
G: A good-natured gorgon goes for a commitment,
H: Hence, harlequin hippos hands down have more fun.

I: Though curious, the incubus is inflicted with impotency
J: Just like the jolly Jabberwocky joins juice with jam.
K: Keeping the Kawa-zaru from katharsis is iffy-
L: Like letting a leprechaun loose in Japan.

M: Meanwhile, Merlin multiplies his magical mangoes
N: A maneuver envied by nine nautical nymphs,
O: Openly overseen by old ogre who knows
P: Pickled pygmies will probably persevere in a pinch.

Q: Quarrelsome quintuplets can be quarantined with confetti
R: Recognized by rebellious rabbits rallying for release.
S: Although a skinny satyr sorrowfully sniffs spaghetti,
T: The tyrannical troll continues to feast.

U: A unicorns' union remains unrecognized
V: And vaudevillians trade virtue for vulgar vengeance
W: While waring wolves in wigs wickedly westernize,
X: An extremest fox exaggerates inextricable defense.

Y: You all, yourselves, yawning youths,
Z: Snoozing zombies, passive progressives on the fence!
Does any of this made-up malarkey
Begin to blossom into bit of sense?